so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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