God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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