NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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