She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
there is puke in my bra ... again
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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