Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize