Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.

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  (702): yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark. http://tfl.nu/ahfc
  Replies (12) Good night (1905) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?

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  (713): I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit? http://tfl.nu/mgmc
  Replies (78) Good night (636) Bad night (2890) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

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  (604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was. http://tfl.nu/96eh
  Replies (21) Good night (652) Bad night (6035) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

  (925): View more from California

  Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

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  (406): I need a leather bustier to keep them in. (925): Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that. http://tfl.nu/8m96
  Replies (26) Good night (6016) Bad night (653)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia

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  (202): i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia http://tfl.nu/b46k
  Replies (3) Good night (1273) Bad night (3252) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

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  (404): And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT. http://tfl.nu/u1ny
  Replies (26) Good night (5341) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

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  (919): Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform." http://tfl.nu/nw1x
  Replies (11) Good night (5247) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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  (585): Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there http://tfl.nu/9lof
  Replies (12) Good night (5007) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.

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  (775): Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form. http://tfl.nu/2bqh
  Replies (4) Good night (1442) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis

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  (860): He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis http://tfl.nu/bzb9
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?

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  (773): Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea? http://tfl.nu/7pdo
  Replies (4) Good night (923) Bad night (429)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?

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  (+61): Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here? http://tfl.nu/9sbn
  Replies (2) Good night (989) Bad night (332)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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  (306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR

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  (781): THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR http://tfl.nu/6l4g
  Replies (7) Good night (1249) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat

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  (617): I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat http://tfl.nu/ph0q
  Replies (5) Good night (365) Bad night (146) Order T-Shirt

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