don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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