We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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