I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize