im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize