I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize