My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize