you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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