in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I cut my penus on the lid.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize