what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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