hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I looked at my own cervix.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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