Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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