with your own penis?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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