You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She's the barista slut.
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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