dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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