I faked an abortion last night.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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