I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize