How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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