I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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