Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
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how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
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Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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