Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize