dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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