I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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