He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize