Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize