she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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