he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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