I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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