He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize