dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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