you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize