Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
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Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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