I wish I only lived at night.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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