I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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