You can't motorboat a personality
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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