If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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