bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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