P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize