It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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