my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the day after is always just damage control
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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