Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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