I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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