Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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