At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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