Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize